Mr. Potato Head Comes To Town...How To Find a Cycling Partner


When a big, fat bald man who looks like a Potato says "hey do you want to join up for a while and pedal through the Middle East and into Africa?" my first thought as a solo female traveler is well Mr. Potato Head always was a fun activity and great company on a rainy afternoon. In the basement as a young little whipper snapper, I used to spend hours making up long traveler's tales of epic journeys about Mr. Potato Head, the optometrist off to smell the world with his huge nose. Monsieur Potato Head when he visited France, would always wear his mustache, formal top hat and scarf and say "oh la la" as the rain cascaded off the basement window cell throughout a long afternoon. Mr Potato Head on a business trip at the international optometrist convention in Singapore would bring his suitcase, extra glasses and stethoscope and wear his travelers cap. Mr Potato Head, an impressive world traveler for such a stout round fella who always seems to wear such uncomfortable shoes. A glorious soul full of nomadic voyeuristic ambition and great company for the solo female traveler. Therefore, Me and Mr. Potato Head, an easily entertained fellow cyclist and avid reader of this website will be joining up and heading through the middle east and into Africa.

How To Find Your Mr Potato Head and Cycling Companion?

On the Road
South-East Asia, the loop of Thailand, Lao, Cambodia and Vietnam is a popular destination for bicycle touring. I met many cyclists there; I shared many a meal and headed north out of Vietnam into China with a fun kiwi fellow that I met on the road.

Mongolia, my favorite country has far more bicycle tourist then you would think. I spent several days camping with some new Italian friends I met cycling through central Mongolia. I also shared cycling maps with two German fellows and spent some time sharing stories with a Spanish man who was pedaling west out of the capital city of Ulanbatar, down the road I had just cycled.

New Zealand, the south Island of New Zealand is such a popular destination for bicycle travel that there is plenty of company here is you want it. My favorite people that I met were a family of bicycle tourists who were towing there super smiley baby in a trailer. The family had come 3000km (1865 miles) by bicycle on their family vacation.

On The Internet
Crazy Guy On a Bike is a website that serves as a resource for bicycle travel. There is a classified section that has a cycling partners section. I have met a few people here. Also, I met people who posted their bicycle travel journals on the site then later while travelling posted 'a looking for other cyclists' request through their journal. They formed a group of seven cyclists to share the costs of permits for the Tibet region.

The Lonely Planet travelers forum has a 'On Your Bike' section dedicated to bicycle travel and up to date information on road conditions. Several people I have met have connected through the forum and pedaled together.
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How To Crew On A Sailboat and Avoid A Sunshine Enema?

Hello Mr Lord Hemorrhoid, where IS your neighbor's sailboat? I have been invited to crew on a sailboat heading around the middle east and into Africa, I have pedaled 900km in 7 days plus 2 ferry boats to reach the yacht on Langkawi Island. I was told to hurry. As I stand there next to the yacht owner, I realize I am getting blown off and shoved off without explanation to the neighbor. I do believe someone may have blown sunshine up my ass about this crewing thing, a sunshine enema of sorts that has the personnel growth potential of a inflamed hemorrhoid. Mr Lord Hemorrhoid the boat owner and captain has labeled his group the spirit sailors and they are looking for eclectic/good people to join them and have e-mailed me several times this month about crewing with them. The “spirit sailor” apparently loves the website blah, blah, blah.

As I process the fact that I have now pedaled onto an Island and my plans have been canceled, my behind begins to glow with the stench of a sunshine enema; the sunlight is indeed so bright I radiate effortlessly over to the neighbor’s yacht. He is looking for someone to yacht sit for a few days. The following day, I find out that Mr. Lord Hemorrhoid the spirit sailor didn’t like the looks of me on our first 3 minute meeting. You see, I arrived for the first meeting by bicycle in the pouring rain, I was wet, go figure. Apparently, the silly sailor, Mr. Lord Hemorrhoid flared up and decided he doesn’t like solo female cyclists arriving wet to his sailboat. As the comic irony of Mr. Lord Hemorrhoid the spirit sailor who doesn’t like to get wet sinks in Pandemic The Magic Bicycle is drenched in oil battling the salty air on the neighbors yacht and I am coordinated the pedaling for pennies Be The Adventure Africa T-shirt Project and sorting out my route through the middle east into Africa.

Another one of my favorite hemorrhoids


How to Crew on a Sailboat and Avoid A Sunshine Enema?

Find A Crew is a website dedicated to matching people up. I have met many legitimate, wonderful people who have found crew and boats to crew on through the site. The majority of the yachts, when I sailed from Australia to Indonesia found crew through the site, but as stated above there are a few Mr. Lord Hemorrhoids out there as well.

www.findacrew.net

Cycling Sandals...And the Happily Ever After

-->I would like to announce the upcoming matrimonial vows of Ms. Keene Cycling Sandal to Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal. They will be married on the shores of Pantai Cenang Beach, Malaysia. In attendance will be a Canadian female bicycle tourist and her monkey. They will arrive by magic bicycle to attend the event and will be cloaked in floral bohemian cotton. The monkey will be wearing a Speedo swimsuit, a banana hammock of sorts to remain politely covered amongst the burka clad local Muslim women. Amongst the guests will be topless Swedish sunbathing tourists, Indian Malay parasailing entrepreneurs and local Malay Rastafarians adorned in decade old dreadlocks. Reggae beats unheard of since the heights of the Jamaican music scene in the 80’s will percuss through the shell lined sandy shores of the Andaman sea on Pantai Cenang beach. The menu will consist of $0.40 duty free beers and nasi goreng pedas (spicy fried rice), the local Malay specialty

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Ms Keene Cycling Sandal is a delicate poorly constructed sort with a serial bride burnt out glow and a reputation for short marriages with a 3 month longevity. Her faults lie in the foot bed, angle strap and shoddy neoprene lining. Even since finding the perfect therapist and having new and improved angle straps sown in place, she still proves to be too delicate for bicycle touring. This is Ms. Keen Cycling Sandal’s third marriage in 16 months, she hopes by her union to Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal to escape her serial bride reputation and turn a new pedal in the rolling game of bicycle touring commitments and longevity.


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Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal is the hearty, sturdy type with 3 thick velcro straps and concrete stiff inlaid spd housing, a rock solid masculine bloke with a stiff upper lip and proven longevity amongst bicycle tourists. This is Mr. Shimano’s Cycling Sandals first marriage.

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The Canadian female bicyclist and her Speedo clad monkey have high hopes for Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal’s sturdy commitment and proven longevity. And after 2 failed marriages, Ms. Keene Cycling Sandal could use a strong, sturdy well constructed replacement. Following the ceremonial exchange of vows, Ms Keen Cycling Sandal and Mr. Shimano Cycling Sandal will be honeymooning on a magic bicycle with the Canadian female bicycle tourist and her Speedo clad monkey in the semi arid Middle Eastern plains and the Africa sub-Saharan desert.


And if it doesn't work out this time, there will always be lift out of town.

Dear Spandexers,

Dear Spandexers,


Hello my name is Pandemic The Magic Bicycle. In response to a few people wanting to get to know me, I wanted to step out front confront my shyness and introduce myself. I am a Thorn Raven Touring bicycle. I am a beautiful rain drenched dark green and my frame is made of solid steel. I am tough, mighty and strong and roll all day thanks to my rohloff hub. My rohloff is an internal gear system has 14 gears and in constructed like a clutch and built into the back wheel. I get my oil changed with special light viscosity oil every 5000km.




I don’t have a derailleur to slow me down or get clogged with dirt. My gears change on the fly, fast and with ease which is great for stop and go traffic and steep hills. I am a reliable bicycle for bicycle touring and was purchased because my owner had 7 cars the year she left Alaska and decided to put down the tools and give up tinkering for good.

For more about the rohloff hub click here

I have handmade well constructed wheels. I have never broken a spoke. In fact when I was purchased my owner tried to buy some extra spokes in case mine broke. The man in the bicycle shop laughed and said we build those wheels strong enough for 400 pound men. You won’t need extra spokes, turns out that the wheel builder was right.

In the last year and a half nothing has gone wrong and there has been a minimal of repairs. I have had 4 sets of tires, one new set of brake pads and updated the break cables to high grade steel. My Queens throne, my saddle in which she perchs to see the world is a leather Brooks saddle and my pedals are double sided Shimano spd pedals. My rider wears keen spd cycling sandals and can barely keep them on her feet because they have been repaired many times and are poorly constructed, a disappointment from such a great company such as Keen.

In Ireland at the start of the world journey when my owner was praying a lot about pedaling to Ireland prior to ditching the front panniers and condensing everything into 3 bags on the back.

My rider doesn’t wear spandex, or believe that you need special shoes to go for a hike. She pedals in regular clothes, bohemian cotton shirts, long hiking shorts and has been caught cycling in a skirt. She rides with 2 small Ortlieb panniers, one dry bag lashed to the back rack and a handle bar bag she made out of the top of a backpack. In the panniers are a Vaude Hogan Utra-light tent. However, last week she lost the tent poles and will be looking for new poles. My owner is a big fan of german made gear because it seems to last longest. Rohloff hubb, Vaude tent, Ortlied bicycle bags are all German companies. My tiny owner loves to eat and cooks on a MSR international multi-fuel stove, burns petrol as fuel, eats out of a non-stick pot with a broken handle and chopsticks. Chopsticks are the greatest invention for bicycle touring ever. Chopsticks serve as a fork, knife and stirring utensil. For eating and drinking she drinks and eats from a large tupperware container. Any item that has at least 3 uses has a home in my owners bicycle bags. It sure feels good to introduce myself in great length.

Signed still rolling, 
Pandemic The Magic Bicycle

Skalatitude..."When humans and nature are living in harmony there is magic and beauty everywhere"

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